Friday, 13 May 2016

Becoming A Positive Person

Two years ago I was in a pretty bad place. I'm not going to go into why, but if you're a long time reader of Kizzy Hearts, you may have a rough idea as to what was going on in my life at the time. As a result I was down all of the time, and struggled to find any positivity at all. It wasn't until I began attending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sessions last year that I really started to feel like I was getting somewhere. Even since then, it's been a long road to recovery, but sat here writing this now I feel like a completely different person to who I was two years ago. That's all down to training myself to think in a more positive way, even in tough situations.

It might sound a little mad, but whenever I feel the pressure of a situation, or I'm having a bit of a down day, I'll sit and have a little conversation with myself in my head(!). Just a few simple questions, but usually once I've answered them, I'm feeling in a much more positive frame of mind.

Is this situation worth worrying over?
99% of the time, the answer to this question is usually going to be "no". Though I have gotten much better at this, I would always about minor things that most wouldn't even bat an eyelid over. In CBT, I was taught a method called the Worry Tree, which I would use to let go of my worries. One of the steps in that was to identify if my worry was a real problem or just made up from a hypothetical situation. Most would be the latter, so were really situations not worth worrying about at all. Since questioning the validity of my "problems" I've been a lot less stressed and spent less time worrying about things.

What positives can I get from this situation?
This one actually come from my boss at work, and is to turn a problem completely on it's head and make a good thing out of it. Instead of focusing on the negative issue in from out you, think a positive result that could actually come from what you are facing. One example she used was a report not pulling off the correct information (can you tell I work in finance?!), one positive could be that you get to learn something new in order to fix it, developing your knowledge and problem solving skills. Focusing on the good end result will give you a more positive outlook on the problem and give you more motivation to tackle it.

How can I make my situation better?
Rather than sitting around feeling bad about myself, I now focus on what I can actually do to change how I feel. I was absolutely miserable where I used to live, for a very long time, but since I started feeling better, I decided it was time to actually do something about it and set the wheels in motion to actually moving out. Now we have moved into our new house I couldn't be happier. I think having something to work towards made me motivated & positive too.

What am I grateful for?
This is something I actually practice on a regular basis, not just when I'm having a bad day. There are so many great things in my life, just normal everyday things that a lot of us take for granted, but are longed for by some people. I have a "Happy List" on my phone that I refer to if I'm feeling particularly down and am really struggling to find something to be positive about. Thinking of all the good things you have going on in your life takes the focus away from any negative situations you may find yourself in, and it's always important to appreciate the smaller things in life.


  1. What a great post! Being positive can be really hard work, and be a long and complicated process, but breaking it down into simple steps like these makes that journey seem a lot less daunting! So glad you're now in a position where you can really see the difference in yourself, I hope you're really proud of yourself :) Stephie xx

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment :) I am definitely feeling proud of myself for how far I've come xx